2006-09-18 Monday

I had my first elective classes today, and so far, I love them. The first one is Business Chinese and the second Media Reading, which is a vague title for reading texts and articles on areas frequently covered in newspapers and magazines. They’re really challenging but very interesting, and the vocabulary consists of infinitely more useful words than words with characters I can’t even find in my dictionary. It’ll be hard studying though, but I’m looking forward to it.

I’ve been noticing people staring at me. Not when I’m walking with Hannah, but when I’m on my own. Old men gawk and actually turn their heads as I pass, younger men gawk and turn away when I meet their glance and girls just have incredulous looks on their faces. Often I’ve wondered if I have a huge bug in my hair or something, but a couple of days ago I reached the conclusion that it must be a) the clothes I wear and b) the way I walk and carry myself.

a) I didn’t bring much clothes to China, and with the washing machine unusable (hopefully it’ll solve itself tomorrow) for two weeks, I have a quite limited choice of clothing. Therefore, I’ve stuck to my baggy jeans, a casual T-shirt and sneakers, no makeup and with my hair in either a ponytail or just loose. This should be seen in contrast to the Japanese and Korean girls (most exchange students are Asian), who wear pretty shoes, lots of makeup, pretty clothes and fix their hair. The Chinese women are very dolled up on the whole as well, even though their sense of style is more like “wear as many pretty things as possible, regardless of if they match each other”. Gotta admire a woman that can walk confidently in neon green and fuchsia though.
Okay, so they might be wondering why I’m dressed so poorly. I can deal with that. I have several big shopping sprees planned.

b) This one is a bit harder to explain. Chinese girls my age walk in one of two different ways, on the whole: either they’re trying to make themselves as unnoticeable as possible, or they know they look good, making them a bit more relaxed. They both have one thing in common though, and that’s the insecurity. I don’t know why, but Chinese women my age don’t seem to be confident about who they are as persons. Even the good-looking ones know only that they’re good-looking, but it’s like they haven’t developed a personality or a sense of self yet, or if they have, they’re very self-conscious about it. It’s really the only way I can explain it. I on the other hand, am quite comfortable with who I am (despite occasional bouts of insecurity, as any other normal human being), and I’ve found that exuding confidence makes things a little smoother. Because of that, I think I actually swagger a little compared to the way I carry myself in Sweden. So I would say I walk in a confident, self-assured way, looking sure of myself even when I’m completely lost somewhere in Beida. Because I might not have a sense of location whatsoever, but at least I’m aware of and comfortable with it.

These conclusions were just my own personal musings until today, when I started talking to an American guy from one of my classes. He told me he knew I was a westerner from the beginning, which kind of blew me away.
“It’s the way you dress, and the way you walk”, he said. “The shirt (I was wearing my Serenity shirt) and the baggy pants, and I don’t know, but you walk in a certain way.”
Huh! Unfortunately, I didn’t have time to ask him more about it, but I definitely will, next time.
But really!

Highlights:
- This morning, people were prettying up along my way to school, with potted plants, cleaning up debris from the koi pond and banners. Turns out the Institute of International Relations was celebrating its 10th anniversary. There’s something surreal about seeing a bunch of Chinese in caps and gowns in front of a traditional Chinese gate, with a koi pond and a vaulted stone bridge as back drop. It made me smile.
Then I turned around and almost got mowed down by a bicycle. Ah, Beijing.
- (Me and Hannah talking to our landlord about the washing machine last week)
Landlord: “I’ll get it fixed over the weekend. Monday latest!”
Me (later): “That means Tuesday.”
I called him today, and he said he’d bring it over tomorrow. I chuckled all the way home.
- I got a fruit peeling knife for ½ RMB today. Yes, 50 öre. Even if it breaks after two uses, it’s still soo worth it. And I also bought fruit. And had a DELICIOUS mango for dessert today. Mom, you should be proud! I’m eating fruit!

(Little Chinese girl talking to her Mom)
Little girl: “猫 is ’cat’ in English. Therefore, 小猫 (small cat, kitty) is ’catty’.”
(Later)
Hannah: ”Yeah, I wouldn’t want to have to explain the word ’pussy’ to a Chinese five-year old.”