Highlights of my morning:

(And remember, all of this is said in English with a slight Chinese accent)

My Dad on going downstairs to vacuum –
“I have seven steps of stairs. On each step I will stop one minute and consider my decision for the next step, and collect sufficient data before making my decision.”
After ten minutes of decision-making, my Mom attempts to push him down the stairs. (it’s not as bad as it sounds, it’s like a six-year old trying to budge a sturdy grown-up) I intervene, which leads to:
“I have a Red Guard! I have a guard in a red T-shirt, and that is a Red Guard. Who has a Red Guard? Chairman Mao!”
This is followed by him impersonating Chairman Mao for ten minutes, giving a rousing Communist speech in English. It’s the year 1966, the glorious Culture Revolution is about to begin, etc etc. Though I’m pretty sure Chairman Mao never said “I am the god of gods”, at least not publicly.
After ten minutes, my Mom without looking up from tending her flowers:
“My orchids are so pretty!”
My Dad and I both start laughing at her obliviousness.
Finally, my Dad thanks his faithful audience by pretending to be a Swedish TV-show host. Going down the stairs, the final words are:
“This is your last opportunity to see my face!” One step later:
“This is your last opportunity to see half my face!” One step later:
“Really, I’m going!”

I love my parents =D

Oh, and he vacuumed for about five minutes and is now running around annoying my Mom again.